32nd Week of treatments/herbs

Here I am, still TTC after 32 weeks of acupuncture treatments and herbal teas. I did not post 2 weeks ago, but I did see LAc on January 27th. I spoke to my GYN on January 26th and he confirmed to me some bad news that I guess I kind of expected, but didn't want to hear. He I guess this clears up some of the concerns that I have had as to why I have not been able to conceive. He reviewed what had happened back when I had the tubal pregnancy in 2004 because I had some doubts. Was it 1 pregnancy or 2? After reviewing the hospital report from when Dr. Sacovich performed the Laporoscopy in August 2004, he saw that Dr. Sacovich had made an incision in both tubes and had removed a mass on my left tube (it was not a pregnancy) and the tubal pregancy in my right tube. After the HSG in November 2004, it showed that my left tube was completely blocked and my right tube was clear, but somewhat swollen. This all means that the chance of me getting pregnant through my only somewhat good tube (right) are very slim since I only have tube to work with. As a result of the tubal pregnancy, though, it turns out that the chances of me having another tubal pregnancy are rather high if I TTC on my own. Therefore, he recommends that I TTC via IVF. The optimism that I began with year suddenlty turned to pessimism. I have been praying everyday to St Gerard, the patron of Motherhood, to try to bring my spirits up and I can see that it has been working.

I had a long talk with LAc on January 20th and after speaking with her I think I've had a change in attitude. I gues you could say she is my counselor as well as my LAc. She has a way with words and she has put the optimism back into my life and hope back into my heart. First she suggested that I have another HSG done to confirm the status of my tubes. Then, basically what we decided is that I will continue with acupuncture treatments every other week. She still recommends that I continue on my herbs just so that we do not lose what we have gained for when we plan our IVF. Acupuncture drastically improves the chances of conceiving as well as the egg quality. I honestly don't know how much the treatments are helping me because my cycles have been really strange. I will increase the treatments as I get closer to IVF, though because I know that during an IVF cycle they really help to relax the uterus.

DH and I have discussed another IVF cycle for June 11th, but we would like to have it done with PGD. It has been strongly recommended to me and I am conviced that it would be the best option. I am a worry freak so the thought of knowing there are no genetic abnormalities will surely be a great stress reliever on top of knowing that it will increase the chances of conceiving. The downfall is that we want to do it with the new RE and he is about 9K for one time plus other fees including about 4K for PGD. It seems like so much money, especially if it doesn’t work. If we do the Outcome Based Plan (3 times) it will be about 17K. What if it doesn’t work even with that? Our next step would be adoption and that is another arm and leg. I feel like we are running out of resources, funds and my body is running out of time. I don’t know what to do! I feel like stopping my acupuncture treatments, or at least the herbs, since the treatments might do me some good. The only positive thing that I've noticed since I began treaments June 2006 is that my cycles are now shorter, but my temperatures are still very erratic. I just feel like I'm wasting my time and money on all of it. I don't know what to do. To start I will contact GYN to set up HSG.

My current RE is Dr. Saleh at the SHER Institute. I will be having some bloodwork test done during spring break to check for other things. The Uterine Sonogram turned out really good, he said. This way we can clear up any problems I might/might not have before the next cycle. Also we will try and save some money so that we don't have to get too deep in the hole if we have to borrow.

Another problem I have had is that I had spotting at mid-cycle sometime. I did not ovulate, and my temperatures did not go up so I don't really know what happened. I had some red blood one the morning (only when I wiped) and the rest of the day it was spotting. Could it have been from BD'ing the night before?

If it doesn't work out, I've decided I'm open for adoption. I just saw pictures from a friend's trip to Guatemala. She finally met her son, last week and I felt so happy for her. She took the most wonderful pictures with him. I could see that as being me. I would adopt in a heartbeat if I could afford it.

So here are the herbs I took since January 27th to February 10th:

• Chinese # 0510081-20051008-1-10
• Common Yam Rhizome (Rhizoma Dioscoreae--Shanyao)
• Danshen Root (Radix Alviae Mil Tiorrhizae--Danshen)
• Fleeceflower Root (Radix Polygoni Multiflori--Heshouwu)
• Glossy Privet Fruit (Fructus Ligustri Lucidi--Nuzhenzi)
• Plantain Seed (Semen Plantaginis--Cheqianzi)
• Red Peony Root (Radix Paeoniae Rubra--Chishao)
• Tu Si Zi (Cuscuta chinengis--seed)--different mfg
• Wu Ling Zhi (Trogopterus xanthipes--Dejecta)--different mfg
• White Peony Root (Radix Paeoniae Alba--Baishao)

Begining today I will continue on the same herbs above for 3 days, then I will change to the following for 1 day:

• Chinese Angelica (Radix Angelicae Sinensis--Danggui)
• Chinese Thorowax Root (Radix Bupleuri--Chaihu)
• Common Yam Rhizome (Rhizoma Dioscoreae--Shanyao)
• Dodder Seed (Semen Cuscutae--Tusizi)
• Fleeceflower Root (Radix P)olygoni Multiflori--Heshouwu)
• Indian Bread (Poria--Fuling)
• Prepared Rehmannia Root (Radix Rehmanniae Preparata--Shudihuang)
• Safflower Flos Carthami--Honghua)
• White Peony Root (Radix Paeoniae Alba--Baishao)
• Wu Ling Zhi (Trogopterus xanthipes--dejecta)--different mfg

and for the rest of the days I will take the following:

• Chinese Angelica (Radix Angelicae Sinensis--Danggui)
• Chinese Thorowax Root (Radix Bupleuri--Chaihu)
• Common Yam Rhizome (Rhizoma Dioscoreae--Shanyao)
• Dodder Seed (Semen Cuscutae--Tusizi)
• Fleeceflower Root (Radix Polygoni Multiflori--Heshouwu)
• Indian Bread (Poria--Fuling)
• Prepared Rehmannia Root (Radix Rehmanniae Preparata--Shudihuang)
• Safflower (Flos Carthami--Honghua)
• Trogopterus Dung (Faeces Trogopterori--Wulingzhi)
• White Peony Root (Radix Paeoniae Alba--Baishao)