9dp5dt

Can you believe it? It is already 9 days past 5 day transfer (14 days past egg retrieval/ovulation). I should know by now if I am preggo or not. Have I dared taken a HPT? After yesterday's urge, believe me, I have really considered it, but I have never seen a + HPT. As a matter of fact, every time I have taken one, I will usually spot or menses shows up immediately after. I don't know that I'm quite ready for that disappointment just yet.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude, but it is really difficult when the only symptom that I truly notice is sore bb's (which don't really hurt as much as they were before) and I know that is from the PIO. I know that a lot of women don't feel any symptoms, but the last time I was pregnant and felt absolutely no symptoms except sore bb's, it turned out to be a blighted ovum and I miscarried at 8 weeks 6 days. So I feel the need to feel something to know that everything is okay. My DH did comment to me today that my bb's were getting really big, so I'm trying to hold on to that as a positive sign. The other thing that has kept my hopes a little high is the fact that the RE transferred a Grade 1 and a Grade 2 blasts. From my understanding Grade 1 blasts are really hard to come by. They have to literaly be perfect to be classified as Grade 1. That is what I am holding on to.

My beta is tomorrow at 8:00 am. I'm not sure what time they will call with the results, but I am going to tell them to leave a message on my voice mail. Either way it goes, I don't know that I can deal with the results at work in front of 21 little faces. So I will just check my message when I get home and either cry my eyes out alone if I need to or call the important people and tell them the results.

I have to admit I am really scared. At points I just want to go ahead and POAS that way I can just get it over with, but then I think, if the RE scheduled me for tomorrow, why am I going to take an early test? I'm really confused right now and I just have to keep myself busy so that I don't over analyze every little thing.

It was about 9:00 pm and I was ready to go to sleep. I made myself a hot cocoa and sat down to watch a movie so I could drink it up. Suddenly my brother and his family showed up so I had to entertain them. At about 9:40 pm I am yawning and ready to go to sleep. I pray tomorrow will bring good news. GOD, please bless us with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.

8dp5dt

I woke up this morning to find a little bit of pinkish spotting on TP. I am really freaking out now. I am getting lower back pain like AF is coming and beginning to feel as if this FET is a bust. I guess all I can do is wait to see what happens, but the excitement is not there anymore!

Okay, it looks like pinkish spotting on TP was just a scare. Boy, did it work!

So I went to my acupuncturist appointment and on the way back this really strong urge to POAS came to me. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't, so, I stopped at CVS and went to the family planning section. I was looking at all of the tests and then I looked some more and still some more and finally decided I would not torture myself this way. So, I made myself walk out of there, WITHOUT a HPT.

I have noticed today that I have been peeing a lot! Also, I took a nap at acupuncturist, then came home and took another nap. It's really early now, about 9:00 pm and I'm ready to go to sleep. I hope this is all good! Good night.

7dp5dt

I can not believe it is already 7 days past 5 day transfer; that would put me at 12 days past ovulation. The last few cycles, I have been getting AF at around 14 or 15dpo. I am a little excited since I have read that women that have had the IVIg infusion with failed IVF's in the past have a higher rate of pregnancy. I have been praying that this is it for us.

Today, I have not really felt any symptoms other than sore bb's and a couple of cramps here and there. I have still been sneezing since yesterday and my nose is runny. I was at Walmart and the display for Claritin was completely gone. I'm assuming it is allergy season. I will see my acupuncturist tomorrow so I will make sure she places some needles for my allergies.

I think I am in need of a nap. I think it's because of my allergies, but my eyes are really droopy.

After nap I began to feel AF cramping. Other ladies that cycled with me have gotten a BFP, but I am still terrified of a BFN. They all POAS and tested early.

I went to eat at Olive Garden for dinner. I don't know if I ate too much or drank too much tea or what happened, but on the way home I began to get a headache. It seems to have subsided and I didn't need to take any medication to get rid of it. While at the restaurant, though, I went to the restroom to blow my nose, but as soon as I walked in I began to sneeze like crazy. Then my symptoms got so much better. Maybe it was because I cleaned my bird's cage and it was dusty or maybe it was from when I cleaned of the ceiling fan and all of the dust fell down. I know I shouldn't be doing too much housework, but I am getting so bored and DH is not doing a very good job of helping keep it clean. I am so tempted now to POAS. I don't know if I can make it 3 more days! I guess I've made it this far, I can make it a few more.

6dp5dt

I have had heartburn for the past 3 days like crazy, but then again, it is probably my fault because I always eat spicy foods. It was strange but today I ate a burger from Whataburger and it tasted so salty to me! I have been so hungry lately and before I leave from work, I am ready to eat, even though I snack throughout the day.

My but looks like it's growing and my boobs look huge! The sportsbra I've been wearing might be too loose because it hurts a lot more now when I try to roll over at night. So, I have just been sleeping on my back to avoid it. Again, last night, I woke up to pee and couldn't go back to sleep. Could it possibly be the nerves? Then I get hungry, or is that also the nerves in my stomach that make it feel like if I'm hungry?

My spotting has completely disappeared. I pray it was just implantation spotting. 4 more days before beta HCG and counting!

Also, since yesterday I have been feeling my nose kind of dry and itchy along with itchy eyes. I haven't really checked the pollen levels. Today, I sneezed all day long and my nose continues to feel dry and itchy, along with itchy eyes.

5dp5dt

Today I am 10 days past ovulation or 5 days past 5 day transfer. My spotting diminished now to only watery brown so that's a big relief. RE said it's not normal but not unusual, whatever that means, so we'll see what happens.

Something strange happened last night. I woke up to pee, as I have been lately, and when I went back to bed I couldn't fall asleep. So I tossed and turned for a while and all of a sudden, to my surprise, I was hungry! Right, like I was really going to get up in the middle of the night to eat. So after tossing a turning some more (I was probably up for about one hour) when I woke up in the morning I was starving.

After work, I was so hungry and right now I am so sleepy.

4dp5dt

I woke up last night because my bladder felt really full, to find that I had a little brown spotting. I didn't think much of it and since it was in the middle of the night, I basically forgot about it.

Later in the day, to my surprise, more brown spotting. I'm feeling a bit disheartened. I am only 4dp5dt and all I want to do is cry, but I know that it can be 1 of 3 things:
(1) implantation bleeding
(2) one embie implanted and the other didn't
(3) AF is on it's way

But I thought it was too early to have AF, so I searched the posts at my clinic and the RE said:

"The spotting and cramping are both probably not of significance. The former is probably the local irritant effect of suppositories and the latter...completely subjective.Geoff Sher"

That made me feel a bit better, but I am so nervous and I am trying not to be. I felt I have done everything right, but I guess something could always go wrong. All I can do is continue to pray hopes that God will bless us with a little miracle.

I had an awful day at work. My students are so out of control and I feel stressed. I'm guessing it's also because I have missed several days and they were just having the time of their life.

Also, I forgot to mention, but later in the evening as I was on the computer, I felt a weird cramp around my belly button area. It was like several little cramps, but they lasted for about 40 seconds or so.

3dp5dt

Okay, today is 3 days past 5 day transfer. Implantation should have already taken place. I have been doing a lot of meditating and a lot of praying, to St. Gerard, the Saint of Motherhood, and to God, to bless me with a healthy pregnancy.

Today, I called in to work. I figured one more day of rest would do me good. So I woke up early to inject Heparin and then fell back asleep. I woke up late. The only weird things I noticed were that I bearly ate breakfast (one tortilla w/chorizo & beans & a glass of chocolate milk), lunch (1/2 grilled cheese sandwhich), and dinner (2 tacos). I got a serious case of heartburn after dinner so I had to take some MOM to alleviate it. It took a while, but it eventually worked. I meditated for about one hour from 12:00 noon until almost 1:00 pm. Afterwards I did feel some type of cramping, but it was more like pinching sensations in my lower abdomen. I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard after everything I've been through. I hate to think that any little symptom will mean that I am pregnant, but I deeply and truly want to believe that it does.

Tomorrow I return to work for a short week. I only work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Before I know it, Monday will roll right around and I go for my beta. I am really excited but am trying to remain calm. DH keeps asking me if I'm pregnant and I tell him I don't know. DM calls every day to ask me if I'm feeling anything.

2dp5dt

2 days past 5 day transfer. Still feeling cramping and bloating. My lower back pain has gone away, but last night I slept with a little pillow under my back and another pillow lifting my legs. It was very comfortable. I have had to sleep with a workout bra because my bb's have been super tender since last week from the progesterone shots. Still haven't done too much, but have gotten up a little more to do a few things. I am considering taking tomorrow off just as a precaution.

1dp5dt

1 day past 5 day transfer. Still on bed rest and nothing different going on. Still feeling lots of bloating and slight cramping. I have also been eating my pineapple, which is supposed to help with implantation (the core, anyway). I only eat one slice because the fiber content is really high and I got cramping this morning from it. My back has been hurting a lot (lower back) but I think it's because I have been laying around doing absolutely nothing.

DH made me breakfast and then the best burgers in town for dinner. I love homemade burger, a la Norma!

Finally! ET

Yes, it's been a while that I've posted, but mostly it has been due to internet failure. I think we got it straightened out now.

Finally, the day has arrived. My ET is finally here. I had an acupuncture treatment at 9:00 am and my ET was this morning at 11:00 am. We had 2 beautiful blasts transferred. One was a Grade 1 and the other was a Grade 2. RE said the lining looked great and the transfer was easy. Implantation should occur within the next 2 to 3 days. No comes the wait. Betas are scheduled for 9/24 and 9/26. Next IVIG will be scheduled as soon as a heartbeat is heard. I pray that God blesses us with a child.

The nurses again decided they wanted to mess things up for me. On my calendar of meds it said that I would be using Heparin only once a day. When I asked the RE, he asked if he had switched me to Lovenox and I told him no. He said that if I was using Heparin, once a day would not be enough. I asked him to re-check my calendar and he of course changed the Heparin to twice a day. His staff is so incompetent, sometimes I wonder. Only because I question it, but if I were new, I would have no idea and would assume the nurses knew what they were doing.

After we got home I basically slept the entire afternoon and evening. Nothing out of the ordinary except a little cramping and slight bloating, but I think that is normal. DH is at my beck and call and I love it. I must take advantage of it since it doesn't happen too often. His lunch to me: Aw Shucks! It was very yummy.