9dp5dt

Can you believe it? It is already 9 days past 5 day transfer (14 days past egg retrieval/ovulation). I should know by now if I am preggo or not. Have I dared taken a HPT? After yesterday's urge, believe me, I have really considered it, but I have never seen a + HPT. As a matter of fact, every time I have taken one, I will usually spot or menses shows up immediately after. I don't know that I'm quite ready for that disappointment just yet.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude, but it is really difficult when the only symptom that I truly notice is sore bb's (which don't really hurt as much as they were before) and I know that is from the PIO. I know that a lot of women don't feel any symptoms, but the last time I was pregnant and felt absolutely no symptoms except sore bb's, it turned out to be a blighted ovum and I miscarried at 8 weeks 6 days. So I feel the need to feel something to know that everything is okay. My DH did comment to me today that my bb's were getting really big, so I'm trying to hold on to that as a positive sign. The other thing that has kept my hopes a little high is the fact that the RE transferred a Grade 1 and a Grade 2 blasts. From my understanding Grade 1 blasts are really hard to come by. They have to literaly be perfect to be classified as Grade 1. That is what I am holding on to.

My beta is tomorrow at 8:00 am. I'm not sure what time they will call with the results, but I am going to tell them to leave a message on my voice mail. Either way it goes, I don't know that I can deal with the results at work in front of 21 little faces. So I will just check my message when I get home and either cry my eyes out alone if I need to or call the important people and tell them the results.

I have to admit I am really scared. At points I just want to go ahead and POAS that way I can just get it over with, but then I think, if the RE scheduled me for tomorrow, why am I going to take an early test? I'm really confused right now and I just have to keep myself busy so that I don't over analyze every little thing.

It was about 9:00 pm and I was ready to go to sleep. I made myself a hot cocoa and sat down to watch a movie so I could drink it up. Suddenly my brother and his family showed up so I had to entertain them. At about 9:40 pm I am yawning and ready to go to sleep. I pray tomorrow will bring good news. GOD, please bless us with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.